Broken Mirror Made Whole
by Ahrimal
Summary: Three years have passed since that time. Akira lost his entire life and was forced to rebuild it. He's a different person. Yet, there is a lingering desire to see him, Shindou Hikaru. Will fate bring them bring them back together or again rip them apart?
1. Default Chapter

A/N: This is my first try at a Hikaru No Go fanfic. It's been sometime since I read the manga, so please forgive me if some things are not accurate. This is later going to be a Akira/ Hikaru. It's also going to be very AU. Something very dramatic happened to Akira when he was 16 that caused him to walk down a completely different path. Akira's life no longer revolves around go. There won't be much go, so sorry if that's what you wanted. I'll try to focus more on the interaction between the people. Please enjoy.  
  
**************** Akira stared out the window at the stars and sighed. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Then again, a lot had happened during that year. Three years had passed since then, and Akira was now 19. He was studying hard to become a doctor like his elder brother, Ichiro.  
  
'Funny, that,' Akira mused. To think that he would ever be calling someone aniki. For all his life, he had thought he was an only child. Since he was a young one, he had been intensely focused upon go. Go was his life, what he lived for. However, from time to time, he had wondered what it would be like to have siblings, to be able to look up to an older brother, someone he could call onii-san.  
  
'Fate must have a strange sense of humor. I pondered upon having siblings and even occasionally about how I could possibly live my life without go.'  
  
Lady Fate had decided not only to grant him the role of younger brother and older brother, but also to lead him so far down a different road that go was now completely peripheral to the world he lived in. It sometimes puzzled Akira when he thought upon it. Once, he felt he couldn't live without go. Now, it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to understand why he had devoted so much of his life to the board game.  
  
'Still, I remember something of the old fire and passion that drove me on in those days, how I lived and breathed go. However, that was a lifetime ago. I'm not the same youth I was. I'm a different person now. I no longer have time for go. Where I would have once died to reach the kami no itte, now I no longer have time for go as I am busy studying for the medical examinations and just as importantly, supporting and loving my three brothers in any way I can. They're the only family I have left. I refuse to lose them.'  
  
That reminded him. During the first days, he had still been trying to adjust to the idea that he was an elder in the family, seeing as he also had two younger brothers. They were twins, actually, and their names were Sanro and Shiro. While all four of the brothers had become very close, Sanro and Shiro had always shared a special bond as twins. Those two were much closer to each other in ways that not even Akira and Ichiro could share or completely fathom.  
  
'Sanro and Shiro are almost total opposites in terms of personality, at least on the surface. Then again, I suppose that is why they're so close. They complete one another, repairing the cracks in the broken mirror and becoming whole.'  
  
While Sanro was the older twin, he was the more passive. He excelled in playing the violin and piano. He possessed true talent, which was driven by his deep love and appreciation for classical music. He was a member of the local orchestra for Tokyo, often performing for visiting officials and dignitaries in addition to their own. Their orchestra was always very well received and had praises heaped upon them.  
  
'Sanro has always best appreciated music among the four of us. He once told me that he feels music to be the greatest creation of mankind. It expunges sorrow, delivers happiness, and heals the weary psyche.'  
  
Sanro pursued the music with the same drive and passion that Akira had once possessed for go. Sanro played for something deeper. When he played the music, he was channeling the thoughts and emotions of his soul, expressing them through the music. If there was sorrow, it only served to enrich his music. Music was the language of the soul, and Sanro truly understood that. After playing a particular passionate piece, the three of them would find him shedding tears of happiness. He always told them that by playing the music, he could learn what it meant to be human. The music brought him so close to the soul, to the raw and undiluted emotions. They made him feel the pure essence of everything about humans that was good and true. Eventually, he would truly comprehend and finally gain his humanity. Above all else, Sanro earned to be human.  
  
'Sanro has always been one of the more philosophical among us. In his free time, he loves to read novels or take walks in the light rain. He enjoys the simple pleasure of life, smelling roses, admiring the morning dew, and even sitting inside and enjoying the quiet on a rainy day. His favorite hobby is to sit in a quiet place and ponder upon life. Still, he never does those things alone for long. Where Sanro is, I can bet my life that Shiro will be there shortly if he is not already there.'  
  
Yes, his third and youngest brother, Shiro. Shiro was very hot-blooded to say the least. He was brash, direct, and never afraid to express his opinions. He was definitely the more physically active and energetic of the twins. He had an excellent physique, and he was the top member in one of the best kendo teams in Tokyo. He loved to play sports like soccer and basketball. All in all, Shiro was the most athletic. An interesting detail to note was that Shiro had a rather noticeable tendency of becoming very protective and emotional where Sanro was concerned.  
  
'Shiro would never let any harm come to Sanro. I found out later that even as young ones, Shiro was always there to beat up the bullies that tried to hurt Sanro. Shiro is always with Sanro wherever he goes. More often than not, I've found Sanro resting his head on Shiro's shoulders, and Shiro is holding Sanro protectively in his arms. Only around us is Shiro quiet and tender, and he is fully so only with Sanro. I'm glad that my otouto share such a strong bond, and that I can partake of it.'  
  
Akira then thought about Ichiro, his older brother and the person he admired and looked up to. He was following in his aniki's footsteps.  
  
'After all, someone has to be there to catch him when he stumbles. I wish he wouldn't feel so guilty about what happened all those years ago. There's only so much even doctors can do to help people. Then again, he is the oldest among us, and that has made him especially aware of his responsibilities. That's why he's wracked with such painful guilt.'  
  
Shaking his head, Akira went to help his brothers finish cleaning. One final thought ran through his head, though it was rather faint.  
  
'Shindo Hikaru. I haven't seen him for three years now. Not since what happened. I wonder if he remembers me or if he wants to see me. Although we now walk completely different paths, I would like to see him again.' 


	2. Chapter 2

"Hikaru, hurry! You're going to be late. You know that Isawa-san doesn't like his aids to be tardy."  
  
"All right, already! I'm on my way, okaa-san!" Hikaru replied, rushing out the door. He had to hurry to the electronic company where he helped out with programming. He had taken the offer of helping in exchange for money.  
  
The reason for his near-tardiness was his reflection on past times, and how much had changed since then.  
  
Three years ago: "Doushite?!!"  
  
"Gomen nasai, Shindou Hikaru. If there were some other way, I would have already considered it, but there isn't."  
  
"Don't you dare say that! After all this time we've been chasing each other, pushing each other towards higher in go, you're just going to abandon me now?!"  
  
"We have been through this numerous times, and I've tried explaining it to the best of my ability. After everything that's happened, I've changed too much."  
  
"Have you really? Were you just looking for an excuse to back out, and the opportunity conveniently came with what happened to Touya Meijin and onward?"  
  
Hikaru paused, shocked by his own words. They stung Akira sharply, and it showed through the deeply anguished gleam in his eyes.  
  
"Shindou, how can you say that? After everything Touya Kouyo did to me, how do you expect me to continue with go? He forced that path upon me. It was never something that I wanted to begin with."  
  
"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have said that. But please! Have the courage to continue. Continue climbing through the world of go with me."  
  
"Shindou, please don't remind me of it all. The one you are chasing isn't me. It was never me. It was only a false image, a shadow and lie that was created through my cowardice and self-deception."  
  
"Do you truly believe that these three years have been for nothing? That it was all a lie, that it was never real?"  
  
"...Please, don't. Do you think this was an easy decision for me to make. Until recently, as long as I could remember, go was my entire life. Do you think I was eager to completely give up the comfort and security of the life I had known? That I would wish to abandon myself to the instability of a blank road whose destination has yet to be determined and all the obstacles that will inevitably arise? However painful it is for you, it is even more so for me. I no longer have the ability or even the desire to advance in the world of the pros, not after everything that's passed this last year."  
  
Hikaru was about to say something else when another acquaintance of his sauntered into the room uninvited.  
  
"Well, well, look how the mighty have fallen," Fuji sneered, "You always thought you were better than the rest of us pros. How does it feel to be down at our level, Touya? Or should I say even lower? Now you're giving up on go all together."  
  
Akira's face was strained, as if he were struggling to hold back tears. Hikaru tried to intervene.  
  
"Fuji, stop it! Just go."  
  
Fuji ignored Hikaru and continued to taunt Akira maliciously.  
  
Fuji leaned in closer to Akira and said in a quite voice, "You know what? You lorded it over all of us. You had everything. Now you've lost your talent, your will to play go, even the true circumstances of your birth. Now you have nothing, and everyone will see you for what you are, an arrogant hypocrite hiding his dirtiness. You deserved it all."  
  
The words struck Akira to his very core, like knives thrust into his heart. The wounds that had just begun to heal were completely ripped open again, forcing Akira to relive the pain and agony of losing the pattern of his entire life, of losing everything, and worst of all feeling that he deserved it. Unable to hold back any longer, he collapsed to his knees, the tears running ceaselessly down his face as massive sobs wracked his body, which had become much thinner over the past year.  
  
Hikaru was too shocked for words. In all the three years, he had known Fuji to be many things. His classmate, his opponent. He had known that Fuji didn't like Akira, but he never knew Fuji could be so cruel and hateful, especially at a time when Akira was still trying to recover from one of the most harrowing experiences in his life.  
  
Apparently, they weren't the only ones who had heard the conversation.  
  
"Kisama!!!" shouted a new voice.  
  
Fuji turned around to look, and the next thing he knew a strong fist had smashed straight into his nose, causing it to bleed profusely. Before he could react, the other person punched Fuji in the mouth, eyes, and the rest of his face, bruising his complexion badly. Fuji tried to fight back, but it was a pitiful attempt. His opponent was very strong and an excellent fighter. The other person proceeded to throw Fuji to the ground and started kicking and punching him mercilessly, all the while ignoring Fuji's cries of pain.  
  
"Otouto-san, please, that's enough." Said a quiet, gentle voice.  
  
"Aniki, this yaro hurt Akira! I won't forgive him! I'm going to beat this piece of worthless shit to a bloody pulp!!"  
  
A slender hand elegantly grasped Shiro's broader shoulder, tenderly but firmly making him calm down. Finally, Shiro drew a deep breath, sighed, and gave Fuji one more sharp kick in the ribs before returning to the side of his twin, Sanro, a beautiful youth with willowy, graceful features, skin like porcelain, and black hair like velvet.  
  
Another young man, somewhat older with a straight, serious face, entered next.  
  
"Otoutou, you should really work on controlling your temper."  
  
"Ichiro-nii-san, this bastard hurt Akira! Did you expect me to just stand by and let him bully our own family member, our brother?"  
  
"Of course not, but violence is not the solution. There are other ways to resolve these matters."  
  
Shiro looked like he was about to argue, but Sanro clasped his hand and shook his head lightly. Shiro thought better and held his tongue. Then the twins proceeded to help Akira sit down and whispered comforting words to him while Ichiro proceeded to examine Fuji.  
  
"You were lucky, young man, to have no serious injuries. Were it not for the fact that I am first and foremost bound to my duty as a future doctor, I would not even bother examining the damage on your behalf. A broken arm and mouth would have been a fair return for all this ridicule. You dishonor the memories of the pros that came before you, and you disgrace your family. You are not welcome here. Now leave while you can."  
  
Fuji got up unsteadily and limped out of the room laboriously.  
  
Ichiro's expression softened somewhat as he helped his brothers comfort Akira.  
  
"Daijoubu daiyo, otouto."  
  
"Iie, aniki. It isn't all right. It hasn't been for a very long time. I was a fool to run from the truth all those years ago. I brought it all on myself! I don't deserve your concern and love, not after the way I forgot you all so selfishly!" Akira gasped out between his sobs.  
  
"Enough of that, otouto. We've been through it before. We are all brothers. We are family. We have to work through it together."  
  
Akira lapsed into silence as Ichiro steadily rubbed his back. The tears trickled to a stop, and his breathing became more even and collected.  
  
Just then, Ashiwara entered.  
  
"Oi, I've finished getting the bag into the car. That is the last of the luggage. It's all set."  
  
Ichiro nodded and bowed formally to Ashiwara.  
  
"Thank you, Ashiwara-san. It was not necessary for you to help us with the packing. We're sorry to have inconvenienced you."  
  
"I've told you before, Kuramoto-san, there's no need to be so proper with me. Besides, what are friends for?"  
  
"Well, then, it's all set." Ichiro stated, "Sanro, Shiro, come with me and make one final check. Then we can all leave."  
  
The brothers gave Akira a reassuring glance and left the room.  
  
Left alone, Akira sat quietly with his hands folded in his lap. Hikaru and Ashiwara found some empty chairs and sat next to him.  
  
Ashiwara abruptly broke the melancholic silence pervading the room.  
  
"Akira, here's my number. Be sure to keep in touch."  
  
"Wakarimashita, Ashiwara-san."  
  
Shindou spoke next. "Tou-, Kuramoto, please reconsider. Can't you give go another try?"  
  
"Shindou, I'm sorry. I tried my hardest. I truly tried to find a new love and passion for go, but it just is not there anymore. I'm a different person now, the person I was in the very beginning. I must find a new path, perhaps the path I was meant to walk all along."  
  
"Kuramoto, please –"  
  
"That's enough!" Ashiwara cut Hikaru off sharply.  
  
Hikaru fell silent. Then he spoke again with Akira for the last time in what would be three long years.  
  
"Kuramoto, where will you go next? What are going to do with your life now?"  
  
Akira rubbed his eyes wearily before putting his glasses back on and then leaned forward, resting his head in one hand, causing his bangs to obscure his eyes.  
  
"I don't know. It's still too soon to say. I need time to recover. I need to find myself again, find who I truly am, the person I was before Touya Kouyo forced me to change so much. My old life has been completely shattered. Difficult though it will be, I must forge a new one."  
  
"...Will you be all right?"  
  
"Eventually. The pain is still fresh, but all scars and wounds, if not heal, then at least fade with time. I never could have made it this far alone. I would have collapsed if it weren't for my brothers. I have been a bloody fool, forgetting them all that time and-"  
  
"Akira, it's all right. Don't blame yourself. You were frightened and confused, helpless and being severely hurt. How else could you have reacted?"  
  
Hikaru spoke again.  
  
"How can I go on without you? It takes two to create a great game of go. I can't reach the kami no itte without you."  
  
"You have strength that even you may not be aware of, Shindou. You are far stronger than I. You will find a way. Just as I leave, another will take my place, one who is worthy to be called your rival, one who has the passion and determination to reach the kami no itte, the passion and drive that I have lost, the false passion I created to hide behind."  
  
"...And if I also choose to give up go because I changed from this experience and can no longer live in that world and return to a normal life?"  
  
Akira paused in shock for a moment, then composed himself.  
  
"You alone can make that choice. No one can control your life. You must make the decision that seems right. I did not want to put you in this position, but how could I do otherwise? Even if I had chosen to remain the world of go, I would not be the same as before. You would have become even more angry and upset playing against me as I am now. You would not see that brilliance and inspiration that you longed for. You would be frustrated, and I would be upset about making you feel that way."  
  
Hikaru thought long and hard. Finally, he spoke.  
  
"You're right, Kuramoto. I'm sorry. It's just that this is all so sudden, it's difficult to accept."  
  
"I know. How can I not know? However, we will all learn to move on eventually."  
  
"Otouto! We're ready. It's time to go."  
  
Ashiwara ushered Akira out the door and helped him into the car.  
  
"Try to rest, okay? Remember, just take it one day at a time. Perhaps someday you will return to Japan, to Tokyo."  
  
"Arigato gozaimasu, Ashiwara-san."  
  
Hikaru desperately spoke to Akira.  
  
"Kuramoto, will I ever see you again?"  
  
"We both still have very long paths to walk, Shindou. Those paths may change for both of us, and even cross in the future. Have faith. One day, I hope to see you again."  
  
"I'll wait for you, Kuramoto Akira. No matter how long it takes, I will see you again."  
  
Akira paused, trying to stop his eyes from watering.  
  
"Then, for now, sayonara, Shindou Hikaru."  
  
The car started and drove away. Akira looked back, waving to Shindou as long as he could. For some reason, Shindou's stomach was in a knot, and he felt like he was going to burst into tears. That was the last time he would see Akira for a long while.  
  
Modern day:  
  
"Shindou, you've arrived. I thought you were going to be late."  
  
"I always try my best to be punctual, Isawa-san. You know that."  
  
"Hai. Are you ready to start?"  
  
"Yes. What's the assignment?"  
  
"We can't get these bugs out of the program. Could you test run it and check the code? Otherwise, we'll never get the game out in time."  
  
"All right. This shouldn't take long."  
  
"Not for you, anyway, Shindou."  
  
"I'm flattered."  
  
"You know that I never offer hollow praise. I'll leave you to it then."  
  
Hikaru sat down at the console and got busy rewriting the program. Since that time three years ago, he had also stepped back, taken a long look at his life, and reevaluated. During that horrible period three years ago, he had watched Akira suffer mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. He had found himself inevitably drawn into the circumstances surrounding Akira's hidden and turbulent past. It had taken a toll on him, but it had taken an even greater one on his once-rival.  
  
After three years, Hikaru finally understood why Akira couldn't live in the world of go anymore, after much meditation and reflection. They had both been exposed to the vastness and horrors of the darker parts of the human psyche, Akira more than he. Go was an excellent game of strategy. Hikaru could still agree with go pros on that point. However, not everyone was meant for that world. After everything he had seen, Hikaru could no longer pretend to be ignorant of the outside world. There was a very large world outside of go.  
  
Hikaru had tried to persevere for a year, perhaps a year and a half at most. He had even met another pro his own age. The other boy had talent and fiery passion, much like Akira once did. The two made good rivals. Hikaru could have easily continued on if he wanted to.  
  
However, Akira's words from their last conversation continued ringing through his mind. He remembered them, and he remembered Akira's eyes. Akira's eyes had changed so much. Once they burned like the solar flames, a bright green filled with intense ferocity. That last time, however, they had seemed to take on a light, pale shade. The element was not fire, but more like water perhaps. The eyes had contained great sorrow, but also a rediscovered compassion and gentleness, and the hope to continue on no matter how cruel life could be.  
  
After that, Hikaru finally made his choice. He had changed as much as Akira had. He couldn't continue professional go any longer. After everything, he knew he eventually had to face the real world, and he couldn't remain focused only on go. He had a lengthy discussion with his mother about it. She supported his choice, wanting to be sure he made the choice because he wanted to and for the right reasons.  
  
After that, Hikaru had quietly withdrawn from the go world and returned his full efforts to school. To his surprise, he found that once he got into it, he really liked research. Along the way, he discovered that he seemed to possess a keen knack for computer programming. He had graduated from high school with excellent grades. Now he was in college, majoring in computer science and programming. He also took a side job along the way to start earning money, perhaps as a personal allowance.  
  
All in all, he was happy with the new path he was walking. He was more or less satisfied with his new life. He eventually planned to work for a large corporation. Sometimes, he may have been somewhat wistful about leaving go behind, but he never regretted his choice. To be honest, go was once again becoming increasingly foreign to him. It was harder to relate to the people who had been his insei friends, Waya and Isumi-san perhaps being an exception, since they had been peripherally involved in the matter concerning Akira. His friendship with all the others had cooled considerably. He only met them occasionally, and even then it was only by chance. At most, he indulged in a little small talk. However, the strained silences that followed led all parties to feeling uncomfortable. After that, they would just mutter brief excuses and be on their separate ways.  
  
'Such is the way of life. Friends meet and part. Those once friends become distant. New relationships form to take their place. Such is the way with every single person.'  
  
Still, there was the matter of Akira.  
  
'I haven't seen him in over three long years. I wonder how he's doing now. I hope he's all right, and that he's forged a new life for himself. Wherever he is, I hope that I can see him again soon.' 


	3. Chapter 3

It was 7:00 AM. The alarm clock rang mercilessly. Moaning, Hikaru rolled out off bed and trudged to the bathroom. He went through the usual steps of brushing his teeth, shaving, and washing his face. After feeling more awake, he quickly got dressed and ate a light morning meal.  
  
"Hikaru, don't forget your doctor's appointment today."  
  
"Yes, I know. These annual check-ups are so troublesome."  
  
"They're for your own safety. You know that."  
  
"Hai, okaa-san."  
  
"I have an important meeting. I probably won't be back until early morning. Dinner's in the refrigerator. Don't forget the laundry."  
  
"Wakatte, okaa-san."  
  
"Later, then. I have a full schedule, and I have to start now."  
  
Left alone, Hikaru slowly massaged his temple. It had been a busy night. The program was complicated, even for him. It had taken him hours to complete. After that, he still had to finish the rest of his homework. Thankfully, there wasn't that much to do today. He had fewer classes, so perhaps he could rest a bit after he finished.  
  
He looked out the window, and he noticed it was raining. It was a very light rain, so light that it almost seemed like mist. It brought back memories of a day long since past. As Hikaru briefly indulged in the memories, he wondered.  
  
'Akira. Wherever he is, I hope he's doing better.'  
  
*******************  
  
"Akira, remember you'll have to help out at the medical center today."  
  
"I didn't forget, aniki. I'll be there as soon as I finish with classes."  
  
"I'm going to be out late. I have to perform two rounds. My supervisor is going to need help with the surgeries, and then I need to sort through the patients' data. Sanro and Shiro are going to one another's music and kendo competitions. That will last for two days. You'll probably be alone tonight."  
  
"I understand. I've managed before in such circumstances."  
  
"I'll speak with you later, then. Have a good day, otouto."  
  
Akira rushed. He collected the rest of his books and hurried out the door. 'It's going to be a long day. I've got to perform the dissection today. Soon, we'll be studying physiology in detail, so this session will be crucial. After that, I have to help Doji-hakase. I better not be late.'  
  
***************** "That is why it will be necessary to use a 'for' loop in this case. By doing so, you will complete the subroutine and return to the main body of the program. –"  
  
The professor was interrupted by the bell.  
  
"That will be all for today, then. Finish the program for homework. I expect all of you to return to our next session with a fully functional program."  
  
The students filed out and groaned. This was going to be a very strenuous assignment, but their grades depended on it.  
  
'Well, it's not that bad. I think I can handle it', Hikaru thought.  
  
Checking his watch, he saw it was 4:00 PM.  
  
'All right. I have thirty minutes to get to the medical center.'  
  
*****************  
  
"This concludes our dissection of the circulatory system. Next session, we will begin examining the central nervous system. From there, we will proceed to analyze the brain itself, starting with the cerebral cortex. Be sure to study chapter 6."  
  
The students nodded and collected their books. They left the room, intently discussing the details and observations of the session and how they planned to go about preparing for the next analysis. The lesson had proven to be very interesting to be sure. He would need to remember the various arteries and veins of the circulatory system, as well as the various complications that could arise.  
  
There would be ample time for that later. Right now he had to report to the medical center immediately. It would not do to inconvenience Doji-hakase.  
  
******************  
  
"Excuse me, Shindou-san?"  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"Doji-hakase is ready to see you. Please go through the door."  
  
"Arigato."  
  
Hikaru met with a thin, middle-aged doctor with graying hair.  
  
"You are Shindou Hikaru, then. Please have a seat. We'll test your blood pressure first. After that, we'll measure your height and weight."  
  
Thirty minutes passed.  
  
"Well, you're checked out. You're healthy, and there's no malady as far as I can see. Kuramoto, could you please copy and file these results?"  
  
"Hai, Doji-hakase," responded his aid. Hikaru studied the pallid aid with interest. He was slight of build, almost emaciated, and a bit shorter than Hikaru. He had hair that seemed to be a very familiar shade of green, bangs parted to the side and cut short at the back so that it didn't fall over his neck. His emerald eyes were placed behind his glasses. He seemed to have a haggard look about him.  
  
With a start, Hikaru realized who it was.  
  
'No, it couldn't be...could it?'  
  
He barely managed to respond when the doctor wished him a good day. He took off after Kuramoto as quickly as he could, afraid that he would lose sight of the other youth.  
  
"Oi, matte yo!"  
  
Kuramoto turned around. His eyes widened as he saw who it was.  
  
Time seemed to stop as the two boys stared at each other across the hallway, their eyes locked.  
  
Finally, Hikaru remembered to breathe and broke the silence.  
  
"Kuramoto...Akira?"  
  
"Yes, the very same. Shindou Hikaru."  
  
"Well... it's been a long time, hasn't it?"  
  
"Yes, it has. I don't mean to cut our conversation short, but I still have work to do. My shift ends in half an hour. Perhaps we could speak afterwards, if it's not too much trouble?"  
  
"All right, I'll wait outside."  
  
******************  
  
It was 5:45 PM. The two young men sat at a table, sipping coffee and talking in soft, calm voices.  
  
"Have you been all right, these past three years I mean?"  
  
"I'm fine, Hikaru. After studying overseas with my brothers for three years, we've finally returned home to Tokyo. I'm busy with school work. The medical examinations will approach quickly, and I'm studying hard now. What of you? I presume you're climbing steadily in the world of go, the world I left behind."  
  
"Well, that makes two of us."  
  
Akira's eyes showed a flicker of a surprise.  
  
"I hope that you didn't give up go because I..."  
  
"Really, it's all right, Akira. Don't blame yourself. I made the choice, and I don't regret it. It was the right one. I did it for myself. After everything that happened, I guess that I just wanted a normal life."  
  
"As long as you feel you made the right choice for yourself. What have you been doing then?"  
  
"I've been pursuing computer programming. I really like it. I hope that I can work for a good corporation when I finish."  
  
Akira smiled slightly and nodded his head approvingly.  
  
"You always had a sharp intellect and keen curiosity. I'm not surprised, Hikaru."  
  
Akira paused to look outside at the rain, remembering another such day long ago that was far more painful. Following his gaze, Hikaru realized Akira's thoughts. With slight reluctance, he place his hand over Akira's, in an attempt to comfort him.  
  
"Akira, have you recovered? How are you coping with...everything that happened?"  
  
"Some wounds never fully heal. So it is with mine. However, time has made them fade, leaving the scars behind. All things considered, I think I'm coping as well as can be expected. Thank you for the support you showed me during that time. I wish I hadn't dragged you into it."  
  
"That was my decision. I made it of my own free will. I wanted to be there for you, Akira, just as I want to be here for you now."  
  
"Arigato gozaimasu, my friend."  
  
"If you're not too busy, do you want to spend the night at my house? Mom's not going to be back until tomorrow afternoon."  
  
"I appreciate the offer. However, I think that should be for next time. This time around, please let me be the host. My brothers won't be back for two days at least. I would like to invite you to stay the night."  
  
"All right, then. We'll go stop at the grocery store and drop them off at my house. There are some things I need to take care off. Then we'll go to the train station and go to your house." 


	4. Chapter 4 Preview

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Here's the preview for chapter 4. I will caution that as the story progresses, the characters, perhaps Akira especially, might become increasingly OOC.  
  
Isumi was in the middle of reviewing a game, when someone interrupted him.  
  
"Oi, Isumi-san, did you hear?"  
  
"About?"  
  
"Kuramoto Akira. He's finally come back to Tokyo, after three long years."  
  
Isumi eyes widened in surprise, and he contemplated briefly.  
  
"Waya, how do you know about this?"  
  
"I saw him with Shindou down at the train station, although they didn't notice me. They got on a train before I could speak to them."  
  
"Well, how is Kuramoto-san doing? I hope he's better now."  
  
Waya pursed his lips before replying.  
  
"He still seems to be in somewhat poor health. I can't say much beyond that."  
  
"Well, considering what happened to him, I- "  
  
"I know, Isumi-san. I just hope he's recovering."  
  
They sat in silence for a bit, before Waya spoke again.  
  
"It's strange. I never really liked him before that, but when I found out, I never thought I'd end up feeling so bad for him."  
  
"Waya, he's a human being, too. Did you actually think he didn't have sorrows of his own?"  
  
"I was inexperienced, young, and naive myself. I admit it was wrong of me to not see past the perfect exterior he exhibited to the world. I certainly never thought Kuramoto would have the burdens he did."  
  
"It all started as a regular day, didn't it? How we could know where it would lead us?"  
  
********************  
  
Three years ago  
  
Akira was struggling to remain focused, but he couldn't keep the act up any longer. He had not slept or eaten in over three days, because he needed the time to finish a project for school and prepare for his game with another pro, along with other matters. He came to a choice.  
  
"I resign."  
  
He bowed and left. Proceeding to the restroom, Akira splashed cold water on his face. Looking in the mirror, he saw how ghastly his appearance was. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, with bags forming beneath them. His skin was pale and clammy. His hands were trembling slightly.  
  
Collecting his belongings, Akira left quietly. Unknown to him, Hikaru was watching him in concern.  
  
"Oi, Shindou."  
  
"Waya, what are you doing?"  
  
"Seeing how you are. What's wrong? I can see it in your eyes."  
  
"It's Touya. I don't understand what's been going on with him lately. He's been playing poorly for a considerable number of consecutive games. All of them end with him resigning or losing miserably. It's not up to his usual standard at all, and now he looks so tired all the time. I'm worried about him."  
  
"So you've noticed, too? In my last game with him, he lost badly as well. I was angry at the time, because I assumed he was just snubbing me, as if telling me that I wasn't worth the effort it would take to beat me. Now, however, I'm worried. He's lost to so many other pros as well, most of whom are higher than me."  
  
"It can't go on like this."  
  
Hikaru was about to leave, when Waya grabbed his hand.  
  
"Oi, matte yo. Where are you going?"  
  
"I'm going to follow him. I've noticed that he leaves the institute very often now and at regular intervals. I need to find out what's going on. I'm really worried about his health."  
  
"Touya's not going to take kindly to your prying, if he catches you."  
  
"I, I just want to help him with whatever problem he has, if I can. Is that wrong?"  
  
Waya sighed and remained silent for a few moments before speaking.  
  
"Fine. Then I'll go with you."  
  
"Nani!? Doushite?"  
  
"You're my tomodachi, aren't you? I just want to help a friend."  
  
"And you have no other motives?"  
  
After a moment, Waya reluctantly conceded.  
  
"Well, I admit that I don't really like Touya, but I guess I'm worried about him."  
  
"As a go player, or as a fellow human being?"  
  
"Both."  
  
Another voice suddeny cut in.  
  
"We better hurry then. Touya-kun takes the early train. There's barely half an hour."  
  
Waya and Hikaru looked in surprise.  
  
"Isumi-san? How do you know about this? And what do you mean 'we'? Why are you coming."  
  
"I just finished a game with him. He resigned. It went very poorly for him. I saw how he looked, and it is troubling. For crying out loud, his hands were shaking, and his eyes were bloodshot. Besides, haven't either of you noticed? He's lost a lot of weight just in the last month. As for his schedule, it's pure coincidence. I just happened to see him several times at the station and pieced it together."  
  
"Well, let's hurry then."  
  
The three were careful to keep close enough that they wouldn't lose sight of Akira, but far enough that Akira didn't notice he was being followed. On the train, lost in his own thoughts, Akira wouldn't have noticed in any case.  
  
'Ichiro, Sanro, Shiro. My brothers. But what right have I to call them that? I selfishly gave up all memories of them, all in an attempt to escape the physical pain that man inflicted on me. What is pain to ones such as us? It is our lot to die for our duty, should duty demand it of us. I failed my promise to him, to chichi-ue. More than that, I failed my daimyo. I failed once. I will not fail again. I must atone for my sins against the clan. I'm sorry that I can only watch over you in this way, brothers, but I am dishonored. Until I have cleansed the Kuramoto clan of the shame I brought upon it, I have no right to meet you face to face. I will continue with my penance to the bitter end, if that is my destiny.' 


End file.
